I remembered watching the movie when I was still really young, innocent and fully in love with life. “Sleeping With The Enemy” was well-played by the ‘Pretty Woman’ Julia Roberts, and oooh one of the soundtracks I posted at the link below, doesn’t it sound and ‘feel’ beautiful, soul-touching and dreamy?
Since the movie was released in early 90s, I couldn’t really recall the whole plots in detailed so I googled it to refresh my memory. However, one scene I remembered the most even before refreshing the plot was the take where wife (Julia) was considered not hanging the hand towel as neat and as the standard set by her abusive husband, violence took place immediately resulting her to those blue black bruises all over her face. What a degrading and horrifying scene really and sadly it still stays in my memory until now😞. If for such a trivia reason, violence can be triggered, u can imagine how much pain resulted and how dangerous abusiveness is in reality.
In this transparent world, we have all made aware of the grave impacts of (domestic) violence to victims, the most vulnerable is women and children . Many discussions and concerns have been brought to public re: the danger of violence. The United Nation General Assembly has even designated November 25 as the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women.
As responsible members of the society, we are all called to actively observe and participate in the prevention or halting of such incidents to take place around us. UNWomen.org in its website writes that one in three women worldwide experiences physical or sexual violence, mostly by an intimate partner. Violence against women and girls is a human rights violation, and its immediate and long-term physical, sexual, and mental consequences for women and girls are devastating, and deadly.
In many cases, actors of violence do not (want to) admit they need help, that being abusive is more on self control and anger management. On the other hand, most of these people would put the blame on the victims, citing that victims are the cause of them being abusive, therefore deserve to violence.
In a more law-abided society, rules of laws to protect the vulnerable from such unfortunate treatment have long been drafted and promulgated, providing legal platform to prosecute the actors as criminals. Hopefully this legal protection is also extended to the least fortunate groups of people in developing or under developed countries. Many factors apart from high emotional level and weak self control are considered to be the primary cause of violence. Local cultural practices and wisdom by positioning women as subordinates (rather than partners) to men, patriarchal superiority and low financial status and poor education to women, they are all factors to violence. The list continues.
Nonetheless, not a single of these background and reasons should be considered a legitimate and acceptable excuse to act abusively to partners or family members, especially that to women and children. Imagine the fear your spouses have to endure in spending their lives with abusive partners, let alone the negative mental impact to children in witnessing or even experiencing being abused themselves.
‘Sleeping With The Enemy’ successfully portraits the pain and the grave impacts of abusive treatments to its victims. Some are fortunate to get through the darkest phase in their lives as survivors, sadly the unfortunate ones must let go their battles and take off. Whatever the end game, survivors could almost never heal completely. There are times from even a tiny similar incident encountered by fellow victim or news of violence spread in community could enough bring back the sadness and the never completely healed bleeding pain. It forever stays unconsciously and keeps haunting deep inside.
If only all human beings, especially those physically stronger and more capable to protect, could spread more love rather than violence and abusiveness, the world will be more colorful, at peace and filled with the never ending heavenly love: the delicate emotion perfectly pictured through this beautiful music, there’s only peace and heavenly aura surrounds us. It’s love 💗